Sunday, March 15, 2009

Being nothing

What is it that people do that causes them to live in a whirl of routine, hours spent accomplishing things, and living life as if they enjoyed it? Why can't I seem to find the space and time and energy to create a space that is actually conducive to me? What day in school did I miss that everyone else has self and I'm just... blank? Do I have something that everyone else is missing? That drives them to create an external life that I just hold inside? 
Living moment to moment, with plans that stretch all the way to 2pm. Is it momentum or inspiration or simply the part of the brain that handles all this that I lack?
Is it fear of failure or simply laziness? Is it apathy because I feel I don't matter?
It should be more empowering to be nothing, with no one to disappoint and no worry about mistakes. It should be more empowering, and I think can be more so if only the correct force is applied. Being incorrect, however, now that we're empowered to be nothing and no one means nothing. How can nothing be wrong? But how can nothing be with external force added? How to you wrangle this observers stance into a creators product? How can you distill knowledge from these passing glances? Can you create completely internally? What are we without what's around us? How do we escape this influence and be ourselves? Can we be anything without our society's influence? With nothing else what do we have? Take away the things we buy to accent some part of our self, take away the advertising, take away consumerism, take away wants. What's left? As it is the root, is it the most important? Or is it still just as unimportant as everything else? Are we what we make, what we do, what we wear, or what we think? Are we what we love or is it the other way around?

About Me

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California
Writer, philosopher, introvert, misanthrope, baby-crazy; general mash-up of the human experience just trying to get by with the tools God gave me.